"AN INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN JORGE, THE TRIANGLE PHILOSOPHER, AND JEX, THE NEO-FUTURIST HECKLER"
"LYSANDER, THE GREAT THINKER OF OUR CUBIC TIMES, ENDS HIS LONG ABUSIVE JOURNEY AFTER ACCIDENTALLY MISUNDERSTANDING HIS FATHER DURING A COLD, STORMY SEPTEMBER'S NIGHT SOMEWHERE IN PORTLAND, BUT NOT THE ONE IN OREGON (THE OTHER ONE)"
"JORGE, THE TRIANGLE PHILOSOHPER, ACCIDENTALLY CREATES A HOLE IN THE SPACETIME CONTINUUM DURING LUNCHTIME WHILE JEX, THE NEO-FUTURIST HECKLER, GOES OFF TO WORK, EVENTUALLY CREATING BOTH AN AIR OF HATE AND DISRESPECT BETWEEN OUR TWO HEROES AND ALSO A HOLE IN THE SPACETIME FUCKING CONTINUUM"
"OFFICER CORPORAL BUTZ, THE CUBICALLY-LAWFUL MARLBORO SMOKER, COMES ACROSS YET ANOTHER INSTANCE OF SEVERE INTOXICATION ON A COLD FLABRLDAY'S NIGHT AND PROCEEDS WITH PROPER PORTLAND, MAINE CUBIST POLICE DEPARTMENT INSTRUCTIONS ON WHAT TO DO (ALSO FEATURING: TWO-DIMENSIONAL SHAPE RAPE)"
"IN AN ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE THE DEPRESSING BOREDOM OF POST-DYSTOPIAN PORTLAND, OREGON, JEX, THE NEO-FUTURIST HECKLER, PICKS UP THE HIT PORNO SERIES 'COMMANDER ECHO AND THE GOLDEN DICK' BASED ON THE NOVELS OF JUAN DE LA CULO AND BECOMES MINDLESSLY INDULGED IN THE REPETITIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL WHILE HIS WIFE (OFF-SCENE) PICKS UP HER FOUR-DIMENSIONAL ALIMONY"
"STILL CONSUMED BY THE GRIPPING SEXUAL TALES OF COMMANDER ECHO, JEX, THE NEO-FUTURIST HECKLER, CONTINUES TO INDULGE IN THE REPETITIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL, BEFORE BEING VISITED BY JORGE, THE TRIANGLE PHILOSOPHER, WHO GETS A BIT TOO AMBITIOUS WITH AN ENERGETIC PROJECT (LITERALLY) SENT TO HIM BY TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY OF PORTLAND, BUT NOT THE ONE IN OREGON (THE OTHER ONE, I MEAN)
LYSANDER, THE GREAT THINKER OF OUR CUBIC TIMES, DEPLOYS A COMPLEX DIMENSIONAL TELEPORTER (WHICH HE HAD ACQUIRED DURING HIS LONG ABUSIVE JOURNEY PRIOR TO ITS CULMINATION ON ISSUE NUMBER TWO) IN THE KITCHEN OF JEX, THE NEO-FUTURIST HECKLER, WHO BECOMES ENRAGED AT THE VERY THOUGHT OF EVEN MORE BULLSHIT POLLUTING HIS OWN HOME AND INEVITABLY DESTROYING HIM MENTALLY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
JEX, THE NEO-FUTURIST HECKLER, GETS ABOUT AS MISTY-EYED AS A FIVE-POINT IDIOT CAN GET (WHICH IS TO SAY, NOT A LOT, BUT HE TRIES) AT THE NEWS OF SCHMOLDO "GIGS" JIMENEZ, A PROMINENT FAUX-SPANISH FREE-FORM TURBOPOLKA SINGER/SONGWRITER, FUCKING DYING, AND SENDING JORGE, THE TRIANGLE PHILOSOPHER, ON THE RIDE OF MUSIC-ORIENTED DESPAIR WITH HIM
